Gullkorn

Kloke ord og sitater for enhver anledning

The mess april 14, 2013

A man came home from work and found his 3 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found …an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the… TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel… She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’ She again smiled and answered, ‘You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?…
»Yes,» was his incredulous reply..

She answered, «Well, today I didn’t do it.»

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Jordnødder

Filed under: Humor,Moro,Vits — gullkorn @ 2:01 pm

En bus kører med en gruppe ældre kvinder på motorvejen, de er på vej hjem fra en shoppetur.

Så bliver buschaufføren pludselig prikket på skulderen. En gammel dame spørger om han vil have en håndfuld jordnødder. Chaufføren tager taknemmeligt imod og guffer i sig.

Et kvarter senere prikker den lille gamle dame ham igen på skulderen og spørger om han vil have endnu en håndfuld jordnødder.

Han tager taknemmeligt imod dem og hygger sig med nødderne.
Dette gentager sig 5 gange og så spørger han, hvorfor den gamle dame og de andre damer ikke vil have nødderne selv.
«Vi kan ikke spise dem, for vi har ingen tænder» svarer hun.
«Men hvorfor køber i dem så?» spørger chaufføren.
«Jo du ved; vi elsker bare den chokolade som er udenpå dem» svarer damen!

 

Christmas Joke desember 4, 2008

Filed under: Humor,Jul,Moro,Vits — gullkorn @ 8:51 pm

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

‘In honor of this holy season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It represents a candle’, he said.

‘You may pass through the pearly gates’, Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, ‘They’re bells.’

Saint Peter said: ‘You may pass through the pearly gates’.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked: ‘And just what do those symbolize?’
The man replied, ‘These are Carols.’

And so the Christmas season begins…… 🙂