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The mess april 14, 2013

A man came home from work and found his 3 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found …an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the… TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel… She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’ She again smiled and answered, ‘You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?…
»Yes,» was his incredulous reply..

She answered, «Well, today I didn’t do it.»


Letter from mother to daughter

Letter from a Mother to a Daughter: «My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story… night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionaly lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter. «


The date

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally…


That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. “What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. “I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.” She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”


That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s. “I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, “she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting.”


We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.


“How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home. “Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.


A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.”


At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “I LOVE YOU” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till “some other time.”


Unger i bilen september 12, 2011

Filed under: Barn,Barndom,Dikt,Familie,Far,Foreldre,Minner,Mor,Reise — gullkorn @ 7:51 pm

Telle hester, telle kuer,
telle kirkespir og bruer.
Telle skilt med traktor på,
telle biler som er blå.

Lage rebuser og gåter,
trøste småsøsken som gråter.
Ikke krangle, ikke is.
Sitt i ro i timevis.

Synge sanger, lese bla’er.
Bo i bilen flere da’er.
Mor og far er helt på styr.
Noen griner, noen spyr.

Prøv å sove, prøv å hvile.
Jeg vil aldri mere bile.
Gir opp snart, er helt kaputt.
Så er sommerferien slutt.

Forfatter: Trond Brænne


En historie om tiden mai 30, 2011

En mann kom sent hjem fra jobb, trøtt og irritabel. Ved døren ventet hans 5 år gamle sønn. Sønn: Pappa, kan jeg spørre deg om noe?
Far: Selvfølgelig. Hva lurer du på? svarte mannen.
Sønn: Pappa, hvor mye tjener du i timen?
Far: Det har du ingenting med! Hvorfor spør du om sånt? spurte mannen sint.
Sønn: Jeg har bare lyst til å vite det. Kan du ikke være så snill å fortelle meg det?
Far: Hvis du absolutt må vite det, så tjener jeg 250 kr. i timen.
Sønn: Åhh, sa sønnen og kikket ned i gulvet. Kan jeg få lov til å låne 100 kroner av deg?
Faren ble rasende. Hvis den eneste grunnen til at du vil vite hvor mye jeg tjener, er for at du kan gå ut og kjøpe deg en idiotisk leke eller annet tull, da kan du marsjere rett inn på rommet ditt og legge deg. Tenk over hvilken egoist du er! Jeg jobber ikke flere timer hver eneste dag for slik barnslig frekkhet!
Sønnen gikk stille til rommet sitt og lukket døren.

Mannen gikk og satte seg i stolen og ble mer og mer irritert over sønnens frekke spørsmål. Hvordan våger han å spørre om hvor mye jeg tjener bare for å få penger?

Omtrent en time senere hadde mannen roet seg og begynte å tenke seg litt om: Kanskje guttungen virkelig trengte de 100 kronene for å kjøpe noe han trengte, og dessuten maste han svært sjelden om å få penger. Mannen gikk til guttens soveromsdør, banket på og åpnet. Sover du, gutten min? spurte han. Nei, pappa, jeg er våken, svarte gutten.
Jeg har tenkt meg litt om og kanskje jeg var litt for streng mot deg, sa mannen. Det har vært en lang dag og uheldigvis tok jeg sinnet mitt ut på deg. Her er de 100 kronene du spurte om å få låne.

Gutten satte seg straks smilende opp og ropte: Tusen takk, pappa! Så stakk han hånden innunder puten og dro frem noen krøllete sedler.
Da mannen så at sønnen allerede hadde penger, begynte han å bli sint igjen. Sønnen telte pengene sakte og kikket opp på faren. Hvorfor skulle du ha flere penger når du allerede har? murret faren. Fordi jeg ikke hadde nok, men nå har jeg det! svarte sønnen.
Pappa, nå har jeg 250 kroner. Kan jeg få lov til å kjøpe en time av tiden din, for da kan du komme hjem en time tidligere i morgen og spise middag sammen med oss?
Faren var knust. Han la armene rundt sønnen sin og ba om forlatelse.

Dette er bare en kort påminnelse til alle som jobber mye. Vi skal ikke bare la tiden renne vekk uten å være sammen med de som virkelig betyr noe for oss, de som står oss nært.
Vær så snill og husk på å spandere tid verd 250 kroner på noen du virkelig bryr deg om.

Hvis vi dør i morgen, vil bedriften vi jobber for kunne erstatte oss i løpet av få timer; men familie og venner vi forlater, vil savne oss resten av livet.


En kopp «te» mars 23, 2011

Filed under: Barn,Datter,Far,Foreldre,Humor,Mamma,Mor,Pappa — gullkorn @ 12:10 pm

En far skulle være alene hjemme med sin datter på 2 1/2 år. Han satt i stua og hun kom og ga han en kopp «te», som var vann. Etter flere kopper med «te» til far, kom mor hjem. Far fikk mor til å se på mens datteren kom med enda en kopp te. Han drakk opp alt. Da sa mor, slik bare en mor kan si det: har det falt deg inn…. at det eneste stedet hun kan få tak i vann er i toalettet?


Brevet til far februar 16, 2011

Filed under: Far,Foreldre,Humor — gullkorn @ 8:57 am

En far kom forbi sin søns værelse og studsede over at se det pænt ryddet op og sengen sirligt redt. Så fik han øje på en konvolut, som var anbragt på hovedpuden, adresseret til «Far». Med bange anelser og skælvende hænder åbnede han konvolutten og læste brevet fra sin eneste søn:

Kære Far!
Det er med stor beklagelse og sorg, at jeg må skrive til dig.Jeg var nødt til at stikke af med min kæreste, fordi jeg ville undgå en scene med Mor og dig. Jeg ved at Mor og dig stadig anser mig for et barn, men Far, jeg er altså 17 år gammel og jeg ved hvordan jeg skal tage vare på mig selv. Jeg har fundet ægte kærlighed sammen med Susanne, og hun er bare så sød. Men jeg er klar over, at du aldrig ville billige hende på grund af hendes piercinger, tatoveringer og lædertøj, og fordi hun er så meget ældre end mig. Dertil kommer, at hun har fem børn, hvoraf hendes yngste datter er på min alder.

Men det er ikke bare forelskelse. Far, hun er gravid med tvillinger! Susanne siger, at vi vil blive meget lykkelige sammen. Susanne bor i en campingvogn ude i skoven, og hun har rigeligt med brænde til at holde vinteren over.

Vi deler så mange drømme om fremtiden. Far, hun siger at hun vil købe en masse computerspil til mig. Susanne elsker børn. Alle hendes børn har forskellige fædre, men hun siger, at med mig er det anderledes. Far, jeg ved, at vi vil være sammen altid. Susanne siger, at jeg er meget mere mand end de ældre fyre, hun har været sammen med. Er det ikke sejt?

Susanne har åbnet mine øjne for at hash faktisk ikke er skadeligt. Hun er forretningskvinde, idet hun dyrker sin egen hamp og sælger det for at forsørge sin familie. Susanne er dygtig med penge; hun bytter noget
af sin hash med naboerne med kokain og ecstasy. De andre beboere i skoven er også forretningsfolk.
I mellemtiden vil vi bede til, at videnskaben finder en kur mod AIDS, så Susanne kan få det bedre.
Du skal ikke være bekymret for mig, Far. Jeg er meget lykkelig! En skønne dag er jeg sikker på, at vi vil komme og besøge jer, så I kan se jeres børnebørn og mine stedbørn.

Med kærlig hilsen,
Din søn Jonas.

Far, intet af det ovenfor nævnte er sandt. Jeg er ovre hos Thomas.
Jeg ville bare erindre dig om, at der er værre ting i livet end den
karakterbog, som ligger i min skrivebordsskuffe.

Knuzzer! Ring til mig, når det er sikkert for mig at komme hjem.