Gullkorn

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George Carlin’s view on aging november 29, 2006

Filed under: Alder,Humor — gullkorn @ 8:27 pm

Do  you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when  we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging  that you think in fractions. «How old are you?» «I’m four and a  half!» You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on  five! That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you  back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. «How old are  you?» «I’m gonna be 16!» You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And  then the greatest day of your life  you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

.

But then you turn 30.  Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we  had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re just a sour-dumpling.  What’s wrong? What’s changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re  PUSHING 40.

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 Whoa! Put on the brakes  it’s all slipping away. Before you know  it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

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But wait!!! You  MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30,  PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed  that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT  lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

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 And it doesn’t end there. Into the  90’s,you start going backwards; «I Was JUST 92.»Then a strange  thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. «I’m  100 and a half!»

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May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

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HOW  TO STAY YOUNG
1.  Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let  the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay «them.»

2. Keep  only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning.  Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the  brain idle. «An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.» And the devil’s name is  Alzheimer’s.
4 . Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long  and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen.  Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire  life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround  yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8.  Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is  unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt  is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every  opportunity.

AND  ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life  is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

And  if you don ‘t send this to at least 8 people – who cares? But do share this  with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each  day!!

 

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